niacin rush

got the lifewave patches and glutamine coctail, five dollar shades and money. still meltingly anonymous. i could almost forget about going to prison in nevada. but why would i want to? pathless, borderless are the precincts of nothing and so-called freedom. what passes for the latter is just as often a turgid homunculous as its said. wall up the outside and the core gives way, a frangrant and teeming rot. o the introspected vistas than which nothing and nothing since. decrypting the peeling paint or staring from the slat through truculent stars of razor wire to the moutains' rim. or then again and when just as often i would kill an afternoon dead in the eyes, motionless on my cot, unsleeping, nearly reptiloid but uncharmed, a mestastisizing sense of my own immunity from punishment and quiet exultancy would prevail. only later did i understand myself to be glimpsing the always-already and nearly always lost to view: the image of myself, sub specie aeternitatis.